October 23, 2010

Short post...

Beaux is a happy man!

If you have seen her, you know why. :)

Lost: The Series Finale

We have been metaphorically RAPED by the greatest story ever told in the context of a television program.

Before I get started, please allow me to dismiss the naysayers. Do not come at me with, "You are missing the concept of the show" or "You aren't one of those people who needs everything spoon-fed to you, are you?" I will get to this later.

All of you people (and you know who you are) GET OUT! Stop reading. This is not for you!

Now for the nitty-gritty: I have invested years in this story. I have taken it very seriously. Lost captivated me from the first episode and took me to a place that I do not allow things as trivial as television programs to take me. I have rearranged schedules, discussed, contemplated, mused over, and even purchased DVR service in order to watch the show 20 minutes after it started as to avoid commercial interruption. I really took it seriously. My problem is simply this...as I stand here at the end of this journey I feel like Ned Beatty on a rafting trip gone horribly wrong.

I loved the story. Absolutely original storytelling that kept me riveted week after week, year after year. I loved the characters. Tremendous development from start to finish. Almost War and Peace like. I loved not knowing. The cliffhangers left me wanting more at every turn. But do you know what I don't love? The fact that promises were made. Do you hear me Lindelof and Cuse? You lying Sacks-of-Shit! I have been promised answers. LOTS OF ANSWERS!

My problem with the way they mutilated the ending of my favorite television show of all time is that they promised to answer all the questions. They promised to explain the insanity. They promised to give closure. They promised to justify the 242 hours of scrutiny I gave their masterpiece (I watched all of the episodes twice). It would be one thing if they just pulled a Twin Peaks on all of us and screwed us unexpectedly, but they didn't do that. THEY LIED! I do understand the concept of the show. I do understand that one of the things that made it great was the not knowing. I do understand the difference between being spoon-fed a story line and being made to think. Unfortunately, you don't get to promise answers over and over again only to cop out at the end and then throw some bullshit excuse about what the essence of the show is simply to justify why you dropped the damn ball! This smoke and mirror act is so very PLAYED!

In summary, if you want to appease this viewer, rewrite the finale. Rewrite the half of the sixth season you wasted on the meaningless Flash-Sideways that ended up right where you promised the show wouldn't end...in some sort of pseudo-Purgatory! Tell me why that God forsaken island is there in the first place (not some diluted answer about containing the light of all men). Where did it come from? Why were the numbers so important (even to people like those in the Dharma Initiative who had no knowledge of the cave)? WHAT WAS THE MAN IN BLACK'S FIRST NAME?!?!
If you promise what you can't deliver, it comes off as a colossal FAIL that was stretched out for the sole purpose of emotionally and intellectually blackmailing all of us in the name of simple commercialistic greed. Abrams, Cuse and Lindelof are officially boycotted in this household (Unless J.J. does another Star Trek because that movie actually had an ending)!

As for me, I am going to go sit on one of those special inner tube pillows given to patients who just had a hemorrhoidectomy and watch some mindless reality TV for while. That’ll show ‘em!

Moving Sucks

You know, it has been said that a friend will help you move...but a "Real" friend will help you move the bodies! Big shout out to Aaron. He is the MAN!!

I may have forgotten to mention our new place is a third floor walk-up.

Needless to say we are all moved in. As for where the bodies are buried...I will never tell :)

Art Alexakis Rocks

About a week ago, me and my bro Aaron trek to Jacksonville to catch the "Open Wings Broken Strings Tour" featuring Art Alexakis, Eddie Kowalczyk, and Leigh Nash. All three artists threw down a tremendous acoustic set but Art was definitely the shining star of the show. Probably the greatest (and most underrated) singer songwriter of this generation, Art showed why he was worth the five hour drive to see him perform. Not only was the music phenomenal, his banter with the audience at the relatively small venue of the Florida Theater was very entertaining.

This is not my first time seeing Art perform, either as a solo act or as the frontman of Everclear and his shows are never disappointing. He is without a doubt my favorite artist of all time. As a lyricist, his style is rough and polished, rugged and familiar, and always has a way of making you feel like he wrote each song specifically for you. There is rarely an instance in my life, happy or sad, that I can not reach for his anthology and listen to a song that perfectly illustrates how I feel at that time.

Still at the very top of his game, I recommend whole heartedly that you check out the catalog of favorites that make up my favorite, favorite music.

And, if by some crazy chance Mr. Alexakis reads this...you truly are the voice of a generation...and one hell of a nice guy. Thanks for years of entertainment and support. I look forward to many more.

Bad Day Litmus Test.

Don't you hate those days when things are not going your way? If the jaws of life are required at any point...you are probably having a bad day.

Need I Say More?

I find this to be...profound.

Thought Provoking

Need I say more?

The Freakin' Bachelor

I feel compelled to ask the existential question: "Does the television show 'The Bachelor' personally offend everyone else as much as it does me?" Not only is it the most mind-numbing drivel ever put on TV, the characters in the program disgust me in a profound way. First, I would like to say that my exposure to this show has come in the form of background noise while I frantically and desperately try to tune it out. That is plenty. I think anyone who has any feelings toward the sanctity of marriage has to feel the compulsion to fight back a gag-reflex at the mere mention of this pile of crap program. The way the characters so fervently try to convince viewers that their intentions for being on this show are authentic is laughable at best. In this era of "Reality Jackass" attention whores, these cats take the cake. If any of them had any real talent or value they could have found some other way to achieve a Second-Rate-Lifetime-Network-Original-Movie acting career that they all obviously aspire to.

I understand the concept of "Escapism", but you know as well as I do that tens of thousands of people who watch this show accept it as actual reality. This speaks volumes about the current state of our ignorant and apathetic countrymen (and women.)

I need to go back and reread 'Revelations' because this show MUST be one of the signs of the apocalypse. I am beginning to think that the reason we as Americans are so universally hated has less to do with our war mongering and more to do with shit like this.

What's New?

I suddenly feel like writing. Things are slow at the moment. How many times in your life have you had an extended period of absolutely nothing to do. Waking up on Monday morning and not having a job to do or a task to complete gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. The current state of our economy...SUCKS! Well, I guess that is enough of that.

Let's move on.

Good News: I just spent two weeks in England for Christmas. Very, very, cool. If you have the means, I highly recommend making the trip (that was a little Ferris shout out for the movie buffs among you!) ChestWraps.com is currently getting revamped. I am hoping that will keep me busy for a while and maybe generate a little somthin'-somthin'!! Right? Right.

I have decided to post a pic I took in Sussex, England. This is Bodiam Castle. Rather than regurgitating a long fact sheet regarding this amazing castle, I will just say click here to learn more. Even if you are aware the fact that things are much older in Europe, it is still a shocking realization to stand in front of a structure that is 400 years older than our country!

And...Big Ben was totally rad :)